The premier excuse generation system for people bereft of credibility and imagination, Final Excuse Pro can make excuses for transgressions ranging from late assignments and social gaffs to war crimes. Specify your own scapegoat, or rely on the pre-installed library encompassing pets, subordinates, relatives, highly-paid advisors, the Global Monkey Conspiracy and more.

A new era has dawned. An era in which perfectly plausable and believable excuses are a mouseclick away, for even the most defective user.

Sample excuses:
- You can't blame me for my tardiness... the free muffin you get with every tenth methadone-assisted detox at Ronald McDone House elegantly fanned the flames engulfing my necrotic steam engine!
- But my Dalmation fire-dog led me to believe that I could rely on your bumbling minions to fail to recognise that unfortunate insignificant error on my part leading to the destruction of your valued possession or family member!